Some recent thoughts

It’s never easy to describe, getting ready to leave a place that has so genuinely become comfortable to you. I think it hit me the other day when I was riding the bus into town, when I looked out the window and saw pigs, chickens, and barefoot children roaming the sides of the roads, congregating at the faleoloa to buy ice cakes and Coke. I realized how usual it was, no longer striking to me and my palagi eyes. Hearing church hymns in the backdrop of every scene, the heat so pervasive it enters your very bones, and the techno remixes of such familiar songs as "My Heart Will Go On" (as a side note, I’m not sure Celine Dion is aware of how popular she is in this part of the world – I’ve listened to more Celine than in my entire life).

I’ve become even closer with my Pacific friends, and I’ve been mentally mapping all the countries that I now have friends (or in some cases, family) to go to, to stay with. I’ve come to know pieces of lives so different from my own, but they now seem so familiar.
Since I last updated, USP has had a campus social (beer, wine, and dancing), and I’ve gone out with an ever-growing group of Pacific friends that has come to include Samoans, Tongans, Cook Islanders, Fijians, and of course us good old palagi.

Sorry that I’ve been so distant from my blog as of late, but I’m sure most of you were able to understand where I’ve been. After getting back from Fiji, we entered our ISP (independent study project) period, where we are given a month to carry out independent research which we will write a 20-30 page paper out of. I’ve focused mine on something similar to what I did in Jamaica, collecting Samoan women’s narratives of their experiences with pregnancy and childbirth. I’ve added to my mental collection of stories some of the most empowering and saddest stories I’ve ever heard.
Right now, I’m in the process of writing, and this Friday marks the due date of our project. I’m thrilled to be done with it. Unfortunately I haven’t given my research quite as much attention as it probably deserves due to my interest in socializing and playing around the campus and Apia. I guess that’s a good thing though, right?

I have so many feelings, so many thoughts about what this place means to me that I’m not sure they can be recorded right here, right now. I leave May 18th with Sanaa to depart to New Zealand for a self-directed tour around the north island, starting in Auckland. I’m still eager to go to another place, explore different corners of this shrinking world, but there’s an emerging part of myself that I know I’ll be leaving behind on this little island of the Pacific.

When did I become so Pacific? Something inside me has really turned, as I guess it was always meant to. There isn’t any real part of me being jerked home – other than my excitement to see family and friends – because I really think I could carry out a good portion of my life here. I’m not sure I expected to be this attached. Considering how many ups and downs I’ve been through, you’d think I’d be itching for some serenity, but I guess I can find that anywhere in the world can’t I?

There is still so much of this island that needs exploring, but alas, there will never be enough time in this life to see it all. Hopefully this weekend I’ll rent a car with my friend Sa to drive around the island (since it only takes about one hour to drive across). We won’t be hassled by buses so we’ll be able to see more in less time, hopefully coming back at night to play with our friends in Apia.

So here is a piece of my scattered mind as I come to a close on one of the most intense experiences of my life.

Love to you all, see you soon enough.